Tuesday, August 29, 2006

hurrah for the weekend!

the gathering on saturday night went well.. i was just finishing the cleaning when the first carload of martians arrived, much drinking and cooking ensued, burning of logs, setting up of telescopes, donning of antennae, lighting of many candles, turning on of fairy lights in the blossom tree, and guitar playing, followed by much slumber.. it was too overcast to get any jupiter action, but it didn't rain so the fire went well. we dragged my two old church pews outside and made a banquet table out of an old door and some milk crates.. classy.. i think bedtime was around 6am and breakfast in town around 3pm.. note to self.. persian lamb and rhubarb stew is awesome for hangovers.. so awesome in fact that i drove to friends place after the partygoers had left and got utterly shitfaced AGAIN on ye olde home brew.. fuck it was good! this guy is like a SCIENTIST when it comes to brewing.. (he even has some mulberry nip on the way) so i've had an inebriated weekend and seen just about everyone i know that i'm not related to, and met some weird ones too, like the pink haired anthropologist and a strange long haired mad professor.. don't ask.. just know that it happened.. this weekend also looks set to be filled with much drinking so yay for spring party weather! you are all welcome to come up here for a getaway at any time.. i would've posted photos of the party with this but was having too much fun to remember to take any!!! i think even the cat enjoyed himself..

Friday, August 25, 2006

the lizards of paperwaste

hi all.. am procrastinating about cleaning up my bachelorette pad, which is in a fucking SORRY state.. as the party is on tomorrow night.. i'm chucking a mars bonfire party.. i got sent this same email from two different mates going on about how mars is going to look as big as the full moon this weekend so i thought i'd commandeer a telescope and chuck a party.. everyone must come dressed as martians and we must burn as much of the chainsawed tree carnage as possible - as i'm so over providing huntsmans with a breeding ground and tripping on logs in the dark! i looked into the so called mars phenomenon and found it was a hoax but am going to don my antennae anyway.. apparently there is lots of jupiter to look at this week! just got back from a three day bender which led to a terribly paranoid sobering up period in the midst of which i read an email from my ex fiance who told me he'd figured out i was the love of his life after having sex with another woman.. man! compared to the demons that were ripping my sanity apart after said bender, his amateur attempt at the inducement of emotional gymnastics made me laugh through that snorty sounding part of my nose normally reserved for the detection of bullshit.. and that made me proud as it clearly indicates i am healing well.. ofcourse the pillow still has no heartbeat.. but it doesn't try and fuck you around when it feels sorry for itself either.. and i'm seeing most of my mates tomorrow without having to drive for two hours!!! at the rate of cleaning i am currently employing, they'll be lucky to be able to find a free piece of floor to crash on.. i ripped down some more chimney and the loft balustrade so i hope no one falls off!! among many and varied livingroom contents are a huge pile of wood with nails sticking out of it, a half tonne of assorted powertools and a wheelbarrow full of chimney bricks.. sleeping arrangements are looking both scarce and dusty not to mention highly structurally unsound.. yet i know it'll all be alright on the night.. hey an oddity/friend-of-mine told me she was in the public toilets washing her hands the other day and saw a sign warning her against "the lizards of paper waste" how can something so hilarious NOT be crude?! this is the same girl who just randomly inserts comments like "yay for cheese!" into a conversation.. it's spooky she looks so normal! except when she does this!........................

Friday, August 04, 2006


i bought a second hand mobi 6 mths ago, and a usb cord.. it was my first phone with colour-as i am a tight ass (it has a lame camera but cannot send or receive pics).. then telstra decided to shut the only network my phone can use.. which pissed me off indeed but they gave me a free phone to compensate, it has a 2megapix camera, video camera, mp3 player, i can access email on it.. i fucking love this gadget.. i've never owned a camera (or video camera) let alone one where you can see the shots instantaneously.. i spent about two hours doing a photoshoot today in my front yard.. with a headpiece of rams horns and no top on.. i was going for "satan and her church" angle but ended up looking like pan.. but even BEFORE i took my big fugly jacket off, every car that went past (about 4- it was peak hour) slowed down to an annoyingly nosey crawl as they gawked out the window squinting in that confused disapproval that screamed "we down't like yer type round heeeyer" as if i had absolutely no right to have an old opera hat on in my own fucking front yard.. what a bunch of inbred retards.. it's funny they classify wearing a novelty hat in private as something 'out of the ordinary' that shouldn't be done, yet they're ok with anally fucking their own children and livestock.. i actually felt threatened.. i didn't move indoors to stop making a 'spectacle' of myself, (as any 'decent' person would) i just had 'the audacity' to carry on with taking photos but i did so preparing myself for the possibility that they would stop their car, get out, and pack rape me, to knock me down a peg or two.. as clearly i'm asking for it doing something so fucking crazy as WEARING A HAT IN MY OWN FUCKING FRONT YARD and not SCURRYING INSIDE to avoid offending any stickybeaking rednecks. surely i don't know my place. so-yeah when i took my top off, even though there was NO ONE for miles, i felt like i was being targetted by 1000 hidden snipers who all had orders to take the shot before i could take any more of mine.. when i heard a car coming, i ducked into my front door cause can you IMAGINE what the reaction would've been like with the horns - TOPLESS?!?! it really pisses me off that as women, we have these gorgeous soft breasts, but we're made to feel as if they're poison, like we can't go past an open window in our own house without making sure they're COVERED, cause heaven forbid if a man saw them and lost his fucking MIND.. how can such gentle sensous beauty elicit such intense negativity? we suck as a race. my camera, however does not suck in the slightest.