timber!!!

sigh.. the last few days i have been ten metres up an elevated work platform demolishing my faulty chimney.. and a few days ago, my fiance and i called it quits.. it's been a rather freudian situation that has indeed sucked but it beats blowing up a train that's about to go into a tunnel.. moving right along.. so anyway as i tow this cherry picker back to the church, it's swaying so wildly behind the car that i'm convinced it's going to rip the friggin towbar off.. i get home and while reversing the behemoth its rear wheel drove over - and cracked - the mystery slab, (a strange concrete rectangle of unknown origin in the lawn) wedging itself into the trench underneath, and it had to be pulled out with 4wd.. but the rest was all fun and rainbows.. no shit i reckon i could demolish stuff for a fucking living.. i had to get into this safety harness.. to prevent death from falling.. i wore it all day.. twice.. THE PAIN.. for once in my life i'm glad i'm not a man.. the groinal chaffing was almost on par with the agony you would be in if you actually didn't wear the harness and just fell off the fucking tower.. and that's without the added bonus of testicles complicating the situation. so i get into "the basket" and flick the "rise" switch and i'm thinking gee this is really smooth and when it was fully extended, it stopped and i thought i was going to be flung into the next town.. it jerked around like a psycho in a straight jacket for a while, as i quietly wet my pants clinging to the basket cage 10 metres in the air.. then i had to go sideways. honestly i thought i was going to die. as someone with a bit of a chemically imbalanced mind, i thought i knew the meaning of unstable- until i got up there.. it felt like i was looking down from the head of a brontesaurus skeleton.. for the first few minutes i was just trying not to breathe as every movement caused the basket to wobble and bob, but as being scared became tiresome i began to appreciate the wonders of mechanical engineering and thought - well if two fat guys can get up here and work on a powerline i should be ok.. ten minutes later i was leaning over the edge swinging a mini sledge hammer and tossing shattered bricks over my shoulder and by the end of the day i felt like i needed a beer and a shave.. the next day i got up there again and attached a sheet of clear polywhatchamacallit over the hole in my roof and now i have a skylight.. which is a bonus, but when i towed the monster back to the hire shop yesterday i found that the newly discovered trench under the aforementioned mystery slab was infact a place where all the kitchen water went via pipe.. that would be alright... if it wasn't right next to a support pilon.. now i know why that corner of the place is sinking.. there's a grey water well sitting near the foundation.. so taxing discovery number 458669001.. i now have to dig a massive trench all the way around the property just inside the fence line and connect waste pipes from the shower, laundry, sink, dishwasher and bathroom basin to something called an agi-pipe- then lay that in the trench.. agi pipe is a long tube with small holes in it designed to distribute waste water evenly underground so it doesn't collect anywhere in particular and erode the place.. atleast the grass will always be green.. as long as i bathe and do the dishes regularly.. cough.. but right now there's a huge hole filled with old rotting coffee grounds and dishwashing suds that needs to be addressed so hooray.. i may not have love anymore.. but i've got a SHITLOAD of work to keep me busy..