Monday, May 05, 2008

bidicular persecutor

seeeeeeew.... here i am again mooching a night's accommodation off the lovely fanny and pickle (i never realised what a sexual combination those names are until now-it's quite disturbing as they're not exactly overtly sexual.. like AT ALL.. in public anyway-they could be vegetable using sodomites that play mistress of pain weekly-who would ever know? it's always the quiet ones)
so i've been picking potatoes. on a harvester. which is a vinyl HELL box the size of a portable schoolroom filled with noise and conveyer belts and fucking MINDBOGGLING amounts of dust that get's dragged around a paddock ploughing up tubers and shaking you around like one of those freaky earthquake simulators down the kiddie science park. srsly. feel like chain gang dude. cept i'm CONVINCED breaking rocks all day would be WAAAAAAAAAY sweeter than this crap but i'm oooota debt which is relieving. school going well. apparently i'm roolly smart which is tops.. i just completed a linear relations task and the last question requested me to locate the co-ordinates of the "perpendicular bisector" to the line from A to D. jesus why don't they just ask you to find the midpoint of the fucking line? so my maths teacher is pretty fuckin straight. we are talkin hush puppies and osti frocks but i don't care anymore. i've learnt that people will put up with a shitload of disturbing crap from me if they think i'm smart or scary or interesting or too much of a pain in the ass to chastise, etc so i handed in the solutions referring repeatedly to said 'perpendicular bisector' as the much more appropriate 'bidicular persecutor'.. final answer went : illustration of a small two-headed penis with grouchy eyebrows = (3,-3) so i hope her womb doesn't fall out or whatever. maybe she'll disapprovingly lay an egg.. which incidentally is something my chooks (trevor and kevin) are no longer doing as hens go all fucking sterile when it gets cold. oh and kevin is fucking MOULTING!!!! aside from the fact that, if you're a hen, you're supposed to do that when it's WARM, i think a moulting chicken at any time of year, is one of the most heinously leperous sights i have ever clapped eyes on. the hen sheds all her feathers and gets round lookin like a fuckin scabby BALLSACK for a week or so before the new feathers start poking through like stubble on a brute if each hair had the girth of a bamboo skewer. pete and fleur came out last weekend and i was showing their hellspawn how to feed the chickens (insert wank reference) and quite understandably, it took the poor tod a while before he was sufficiently de-horrified to throw the grain into the pen. anyway.. off i fuck...

4 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer said...

I'll never think of Mike and Fanny the same way again :p

Hope to see you at the housewarming!

9:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! OMFG!!
Your observations on Maths are both accurate and hilarious!

But seriously, for some people it's as if invoking the name of a thing in maths (especially if it's long and wordy) is akin to pronouncing the secret name of some ancient daemon in medieval times! Meant to summon the creature's attention and/or confer blessings/curses.

As if saying "Perpendicular Bisector" somehow makes the speaker, or writer in this case, infinitely more intelligent or the test harder mathematically?

NEWSFLASH!: You are testing MATHS not ENGLISH! Speak simply in your questions, and explain what you really want! That way you'll be removing the completely friggen random element from the test and the results will best reflect who has learned it better!

Gah, I have ranted. Sorry but it's one of my pet peeves in the current philosophy of examination based learning assessment.

P.S. I woulda thought that Perpendicular Bisector would refer to a perpendicular line through that point in the middle of that existing line. i.e.:
Y = m*x + c
PB =-m*x + something else
Where:
Something else makes the line 'PB' go through that mid-line point that you already found.

1:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You've been peeking again Mara. We did say that we'd put all those fresh vegetablesya bring us to good use. ;)

8:18 PM  
Blogger mara - church wrecker said...

yeah john that was my beef.. the perpendicular bisector is a line running through the midpoint of the A-D segment.. well.. perpendicular to it.. but they just wanted the co-ordinates from the intersection of them both so why didn't they just ask for the fuckin midpoint of A-D?!?.. i did have to come up with the equation of the P.B. later on but srsly. VERBOSE MUCH?!

11:15 PM  

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