the mother of inflammation
how long does a bushfire wanna burn?
i mean... srsly...i'm beginning to get attached. I call it 'stockholm-on-fire' syndrome. "my fire" has burnt out over 2,000 ha and is attended by over 100 trucks, driven by my neighbours and some dudes from canberra among others. Its name is "fire number 54" but i chose to call him "the toker" on account of him consuming so many pot crops. The livelihood of many, many inbred hippies has been destroyed........
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
somehow i doubt you'll be hearing about that on the evening news.
i can laugh because the toker is largely a pacifist. He hasn't killed anybody. He was going to.. but then he got high. I was working yesterday down at the organic vineyard surrounded by young, topless, rippling, friendly WOOFFers (working on organic farms for food) from japan to germany... hunting for bunches of green grapes the size of horse heads amongst the picturesque foliage, chatting to the hilarious old timer, getting paid and fed and... just.. yay. At the end of the day when the owners opened the cellar door and tried in earnest to get us to taste EVERY SINGLE ORGANIC WINE THEY HAD EVER MADE.. they told us the firefighters from canberra, that were camped up the road at a big B & B complex were coming down monday night to get sozzed as they were expecting mayhem with soaring temperatures and gale force winds and spot fires and yadda yadda yadda... they'd wanna get pissed after it was all over.. until a few days ago i was under the assumption that this fire was out. ha! people are still being trucked down from canberra to keep it under control.
oooooooooh i just got off the phone with my mother and she's been evacuated AGAIN. lucky for her she has a caravan and doesn't have to trek all the way out here again.. where she has been for the last week.. no shit she just went home on sunday.. now she's being shooed back out again.. fuck that i'm not leavin til i see the toker smokin my shrubbery... i think everybody is being evacuated willy nilly so that if anything like kinglake happens again the government will have covered its ass. i understand it has to seem like it cares.. .like.. to a ridiculous degree... but i reckon the worst is way WAAAAAAAAAAAy over. kinglake was a freak tragedy. it's not like there's going to be a 48 degree day with gale force winds again anytime soon.
It's fucking autumn.
stop scaring people.
there is no point in being overprotective of the people AFTER the peak of danger.. but it'll prolly stand you in good stead for your next political campaign... meanwhile folks are just fucking inconvenienced so leaders can look good. can you tell i'm sick of all this sensation?
my mother is completely sucked in, she'd jump off a fuckin bridge if the government told her to at the moment. every day she was up here we had the community radio on 24 hrs a day... waiting for instructions and advice and updates (which never changed... nothing ever happened). It was like she was living on the edge of a knife and she thought i was a fuckin idiot for not joining her in the fear parade.. on my day off she tried to get me out of bed at 7am to commence fuel reduction around my home. sweeping up leaves and collecting fallen twigs. "oh it's going to be bad today.. they say the wind is going to change and everything's going to go up" which it didn't. nothing changed. and yet she remained constantly worried.
i love ya mum but for fuck's sake. sweeping up leaves and taking bundles of little twigs down to the tip will not negate the fact that i have a fence lined with the neighbours' mammoth hay bales and four large eucalypts close to the house.. CHILLAX..
which i did. for the first time in my life i was able to let a one-armed elderly woman bust her ass working around my home without getting sucked into helping. take that! and her guilt trips usually work so well... i often find myself getting out of bed at the crack of "why-the-fuck-am-i-awake" to accompany her in some sort of industrial sized cleaning task that i would never do... EVER.
cleaning is for chumps and if i don't care if my house is messy then she should just learn to deal instead of mind-fucking me into making the place ship shape because it will be back the way it was half a day after she fuckin leaves. she loves to do that. she knows no matter how tired i am i can't let a disabled pensioner dust and sweep and tidy my house for me. she knows that if she starts with the loud clinking of dishes i will wake up and realise that when she is done with them.. she will be moving on to something that a one armed woman should not be doing alone... i've often staggered out in my pyjamas to find her trying to budge a rock the size of a sheep or a woodburning stove or a large log. i have no choice but to jump in and sieze the task from her.....
bitch.
it wouldn't surprise me if she just finishes the dishes and dashes outside to position herself against some ridiculously large object... waiting for the sound of me crashing, bleary-eyed, down the stairs as her cue to start straining.. so that when i come upon the scene it looks as if she's been bursting a blood vessel in her ass for ten minutes..
parents...
.
i mean... srsly...i'm beginning to get attached. I call it 'stockholm-on-fire' syndrome. "my fire" has burnt out over 2,000 ha and is attended by over 100 trucks, driven by my neighbours and some dudes from canberra among others. Its name is "fire number 54" but i chose to call him "the toker" on account of him consuming so many pot crops. The livelihood of many, many inbred hippies has been destroyed........
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
somehow i doubt you'll be hearing about that on the evening news.
i can laugh because the toker is largely a pacifist. He hasn't killed anybody. He was going to.. but then he got high. I was working yesterday down at the organic vineyard surrounded by young, topless, rippling, friendly WOOFFers (working on organic farms for food) from japan to germany... hunting for bunches of green grapes the size of horse heads amongst the picturesque foliage, chatting to the hilarious old timer, getting paid and fed and... just.. yay. At the end of the day when the owners opened the cellar door and tried in earnest to get us to taste EVERY SINGLE ORGANIC WINE THEY HAD EVER MADE.. they told us the firefighters from canberra, that were camped up the road at a big B & B complex were coming down monday night to get sozzed as they were expecting mayhem with soaring temperatures and gale force winds and spot fires and yadda yadda yadda... they'd wanna get pissed after it was all over.. until a few days ago i was under the assumption that this fire was out. ha! people are still being trucked down from canberra to keep it under control.
oooooooooh i just got off the phone with my mother and she's been evacuated AGAIN. lucky for her she has a caravan and doesn't have to trek all the way out here again.. where she has been for the last week.. no shit she just went home on sunday.. now she's being shooed back out again.. fuck that i'm not leavin til i see the toker smokin my shrubbery... i think everybody is being evacuated willy nilly so that if anything like kinglake happens again the government will have covered its ass. i understand it has to seem like it cares.. .like.. to a ridiculous degree... but i reckon the worst is way WAAAAAAAAAAAy over. kinglake was a freak tragedy. it's not like there's going to be a 48 degree day with gale force winds again anytime soon.
It's fucking autumn.
stop scaring people.
there is no point in being overprotective of the people AFTER the peak of danger.. but it'll prolly stand you in good stead for your next political campaign... meanwhile folks are just fucking inconvenienced so leaders can look good. can you tell i'm sick of all this sensation?
my mother is completely sucked in, she'd jump off a fuckin bridge if the government told her to at the moment. every day she was up here we had the community radio on 24 hrs a day... waiting for instructions and advice and updates (which never changed... nothing ever happened). It was like she was living on the edge of a knife and she thought i was a fuckin idiot for not joining her in the fear parade.. on my day off she tried to get me out of bed at 7am to commence fuel reduction around my home. sweeping up leaves and collecting fallen twigs. "oh it's going to be bad today.. they say the wind is going to change and everything's going to go up" which it didn't. nothing changed. and yet she remained constantly worried.
i love ya mum but for fuck's sake. sweeping up leaves and taking bundles of little twigs down to the tip will not negate the fact that i have a fence lined with the neighbours' mammoth hay bales and four large eucalypts close to the house.. CHILLAX..
which i did. for the first time in my life i was able to let a one-armed elderly woman bust her ass working around my home without getting sucked into helping. take that! and her guilt trips usually work so well... i often find myself getting out of bed at the crack of "why-the-fuck-am-i-awake" to accompany her in some sort of industrial sized cleaning task that i would never do... EVER.
cleaning is for chumps and if i don't care if my house is messy then she should just learn to deal instead of mind-fucking me into making the place ship shape because it will be back the way it was half a day after she fuckin leaves. she loves to do that. she knows no matter how tired i am i can't let a disabled pensioner dust and sweep and tidy my house for me. she knows that if she starts with the loud clinking of dishes i will wake up and realise that when she is done with them.. she will be moving on to something that a one armed woman should not be doing alone... i've often staggered out in my pyjamas to find her trying to budge a rock the size of a sheep or a woodburning stove or a large log. i have no choice but to jump in and sieze the task from her.....
bitch.
it wouldn't surprise me if she just finishes the dishes and dashes outside to position herself against some ridiculously large object... waiting for the sound of me crashing, bleary-eyed, down the stairs as her cue to start straining.. so that when i come upon the scene it looks as if she's been bursting a blood vessel in her ass for ten minutes..
parents...
.
so sayeth mara - church wrecker at 10:52 AM
1 Comments:
Good to see you're getting some work :)
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