rabid underdog

i iz a third o the way through exams now.. feeling remarkably relaxed for someone who has FUCK ALL chance of getting a decent specialist score... if i crack 90 for an enter imma... imma... imma go YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY for a week..

i was the only person who came out of the english exam-a-thon (3 hrs long) that high-fived the teacher... a few of my mates even freaked out and left... man i nailed that fucker.. which will hopefully make up for my SUCKING at specialist exams..

i don't actually suck at math.. but math exams are not about math.. they are about strategy; which is something you only learn at private school.. where they actually don't give a fuck about teaching students the subject.. they only care about teaching them to attack exams to keep success rates high, their reputation intact and their fucking fees justified..

i've had three people who learnt specialist at private schools tell me that they glance through the text (which took us a whole year to get through at public school) in TWO months then spend THE REST OF THE YEAR DOING PRACTICE EXAMS.. apparently no-one gets less than a B+ at the end of it all which drives the standard up too high for public schoolers to even compete with... but six months later they can't remember a fucking THING.

so i'll get a pretty fucking average score for spec. but atleast when i get to uni i will know what the fuck i am talking about. i'm hoping uni selection panels acknowledge the difference between public and private school spec scores and gimme a fuckin break.. but something tells me anyone on a uni selection board will have had a private school education so maybe they fucking won't, as they will be clueless turds..

the condescention!

how DARE they compare their scores to mine.. or compare ANYONE from public schools' scores to their private school scores. honestly how fucking CLUELESS they can get away with being! they have NO IDEA how ridiculous it is to be so proud of their 99.8 enter.. they live in a fucking FANTASY LAND where their "intellect" is "superior"... they're so fucking stupid they can't see that they're comparing their circumstances.. with their expensive private tutors and endless free time and unlimited resources.. to the circumstances of people who have to spend atleast two thirds of their waking hours doing everything BUT studying in order to just keep their heads above water..

i'm real sick of the difference between rich education and poor education. it's not that i'm naive.. i obediently accept that the more money you have the more of a leg-up you have over your poorer counterparts and that's just the way it is.. but don't tell me i have to like it.

consider this the summer of my fucking discontent.

i know in my gut.. that if it was about survival.. when you strip away the privilege and false confidence in their ability that has been purchased and instilled in these silver spooners by their rich parents.. i would kick their asses.. simply because i have been forced to use only what i have; as nobody has given me anything.

unfortunately in comparison to these big fucking BABIES my scores come up so very short.. and this leaves me no option but to beg for consideration like some halfwit who didn't have enough intelligence to make the grade.. but inside some part of me knows the truth.. i'm smarter than they'll ever be.. and if the playing field were level.. i'd be the one playing pro-sport.

bitter much?

maybe i fucking should be. maybe you fucking should be too.