cat barf

man... this morning i woke up with a massive headache cause Timmah taught me how to play spider solitaire the other day and since he left, i've actually chosen to repeatedly soil my pants rather than disengage and stagger to the toilet.. no kidding i think i have thrombosis... and my eyes! - it felt like they were trying to migrate to another skull.. so i get up holding my forehead like a wounded mate and plod clumsily down the first flight of stairs and WOOOSH! slipped in cat barf... sometime ago i stayed in the city a day longer than planned (so not enough cat food was left out for him) and upon my return, the cat promptly vomitted a mass of dismembered cricket remains on my favourite cushion.. i know he had been desperately eating crickets to survive as : A) he is such a pig that 24 hrs without food constitutes a starvation crisis, B) he is too fuckin stupid and clumsy to catch any member of the mouse population, however numerous they may be and C) there were cricket legs sticking out of the filthy chunky puddle. i have surmised that my cat's barf has no odor.. at first i thought this was because crickets have no odor.. but today's instalment, although visually nauseating (especially after smearing it all over my floor and footwear with a casual slip of the moccasin) was without cricket and ALSO without pong. come to think of it i was lying in bed this morning listening to him violently retching on the landing, assuming it was just another extreme furball experience, but the retching was followed by a liquid, gagging, cacking sound, similar to that of deep throat. in my half sleep, my mind concocted a scenario in which pod birthed a large slimy toad, way bigger than his head, from his mouth.. wasn't really far from the truth, except a toad would have been heaps cooler... hey maybe IT WAS a toad before i squelched it into the landing.. i did catch him trying to eat a frog once but it was only the size of a freddo. so that's my day... cat barf, panadol, coffee in the world's largest mug, followed by lots more spider solitaire-unless you count getting my period and sending off a resume as events, that pretty much wraps it up, so sionara...