flipping out

i didn't get to the carrion exhibition and the random internet guy i bought condoms in order to have wild sex with stood me up.. but i still feel good cause i just met someone who's worse off! i just got inside from.. well.. i was staring out at the window the PRECISE moment that a ute skidded off the road and flipped three times in the air.. i grabbed me phone and dashed outside in me socks.. and was about to call 000 but i saw the guy crawling out of the ute unharmed.. it was upside down, bonnet to the ground.. the cab was FLATTENED.. i dunno how he wasn't hurt. the poor guy had just come from selling what he could salvage from his uninsured home which had just been burned down by vandals.. he had the remainder of his life in his big metal tool trunk which was attached to the tray of his ute (also uninsured and now totalled) which flew open on the first spin and evenly distributed his worldly possessions in an arc that stretched from here to fucking melbourne!!! as i, and later some other neighbours that heard the thud and came to suss, were picking his life out of the grass and putting it into boxes- he kept saying he was going to kill himself.. as he had nothing left.. i pointed out he had his health and told him my mum had lost her arm in a car accident and that he might not feel like it.. but he was far luckier than he may suspect.. but at the same time i was remembering what wanting to kill yourself feels like.. the hopelessness.. the inability to see anything except dying in a positive light.. and for him with the added bonus of shock.. but i just didn't know what else to say to him! i think he'll be ok though.. cause in the end there were seven of us (three of us small women two of them senior citizens and four men who were just as ancient heh) and we all pitched in together to turn his ute back over.. we loaded all his boxes into another guy's ute who gave him a lift to his destination.. it must have been a relief not to be alone in it all. i remembered when i was freezing and bruised with nothing left to my name after i had been robbed and stabbed in a place where i didn't even speak the language.. i remembered what a difference the help of strangers had made.. how much better it made everything feel afterward..
i used to dread being put in a position where i would be required to help someone cause i thought i'd be shit at it and just make things worse but i guess the country has beaten that out of me cause when i saw that ute flipping in the air i just snapped into action and was out the door almost before the bloody thing stopped rolling! i like emergencies. i feel normal when one is happening. i get calm and clear headed. emergencies good.. it's just all the rest of life in between them that i can find a bit panic inducing! anyhoos.. i'm trying to organise a group of peeps to go to the body world carcass exhibition i didn't make it to last weekend and i'm shooting for the 2PM on the 19th May so if any of you wish to come and ogle corpses text or email me and we shall go eat something really really slimy afterwards just to gross ourselves out.. i suggest sashimi.