batshit in the bellfry

ok it's officially official. bats are crap. actually bats are awesome it's bat crap that is crap. i have spent the last two days scraping and scooping and sweeping and vacuuming batshit out of the church roof so i can lay down insulation... well.... bats. it's bat-a-palooza up there. i have filled approximately twenty shopping bags. it's like fucking Naru here.

'parently is good for garden. but no good to inhale. due to some freak ass creature of satan bacteria thingy, inhaling batdust can actually put you in hospital. so i have been wearing a holocaust mask.. the kind with dual round filters... it hums and vibrates when i inhale and makes a soft thud noise so i feel like ripley in aliens with one of those tracking devices... thud... thud... closer... thud... is it a huntsman??!?! thudthudthudthudthud. it's right ONTOP OF ME!!!!!!! THUDTHUDTHUDTHUD AH EEEEE!!!!! .....MY ABDOMEN!!!!!!

you would be amazed at the amount of skeletons i found amongst the batshit. it's like a little graveyard up there... skeletal birds and mice and bats and bits of eggshell and huntsman eggsacks and redback eggsacks (!!!!) (don't worry they were REAL old.)

Then there was this colossal rats nest (it was about a hundred years old) i reckon those fuckers trucked a whole bale of hay up there in their time. i'm surprised they didn't master agriculture and animal husbandry and build ziggurats... it's like the fertile crescent in that roof cavity.

split system has landed. 'cept i can't use it on account of all the batdust that fell through the dodgy ancient ceiling boards. it's coated everything in airborne toxic waste. can't actually do ANYTHING in there until i've finalised roof dust management and moved down to living-space dust management... so at the moment i'm sitting in my mum's caravan kidding myself i'm goin to get some sleep on this fold down table contraption thing while she snores in her luxurious DOUBLE fold down contraption thing.

livingroom currently full of R4 (highest thermal rating) ceiling bat packets. so when i put them up there tomorrow i will be providing plague proportion rodents from a radius of approximately one kilometre with building materials for their nests... they excavate holes in between the foundation stones and get in under the floor and up into the walls up to the roof.

so when i install battage on the morrow, i will also install complimentary snack trays of ratsack. fuck it... if pod eats a rat that has eaten ratsack and has somehow made it down from the roof, through the walls and out into the open, he's just going to die. his number will be up. fuck him. i have a stash of tasty chicken necks for him and i'm going to keep him insanely well fed so that his urge to devour rodents is markedly reduced... mind you it's pretty lax most of the time so there's prolly minisculae danger... useless cunt.

speaking of soft dead things-here is something awesome:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/ac4a/?cpg=ab