this is your life

why does everyone that follows the beaten sheep track look sidelong at me disdainfully like i'm some crazy ass threat when i go to hack and slash my own way through the chaos of this woodland universe? the older generation are the worst. (my neighbours are the latest to jump on the "let's bash mara's lifestyle choice" bandwagon. apparently i'm a time-wasting, tax-payer's money squandering loser.)

if it wasn't for people like me there would BE no beaten sheep track for them to follow. they would just pile up like humans coming out of a toothpaste tube, squashing each other all starving to death and still pushing out more babies and defecating all over each other and dying all over each other and eating each other to survive because there would be no one to carve out that first path in the beginning. i have a place in this world DAMN YOU! unfortunately the title stipulates this place comes along with a lifetime of criticism for doing the hard mental yakka that keeps us evolving as a race, instead of just shooting children out of my vagina and living life on default.

i'm beginning to see people like chickens. you hand them a bowl of clean water and they shit in it and you give them a throw of grain and they walk all over it and scratch it into the dirt and wonder where it went when they go to peck for it. then they flap in your face. god forbid if you make them an origami statue of a microbe, they may try to scratch your eyes out in worried confusion.

if i fall on my ass and give up there will be every person i've ever come into contact with (bar a few-you know who you are!) in some form or another looking down at me crying in a puddle of my own filth and they will say "see... you're fucked now and we are satisfied that we are right in telling you that you made the wrong decision when you decided not to use the existence wizard doled out to you by society."

and if i succeed, i will be one of "those" people for which there is no formulaic explanation for but of whom there are quite a few (and needs to be more... JOIN USSSSSSS!!!!!)... and we all know... if there's enough people behind a way of existing then it must be acceptable even if BUGOCK we don't get it but still... they're weird let's lynch them if we're ever given a chance in the name of community solidarity... those people that want to think outside the box think they're better than us... GET THEM! bugaaaaaawk!!!! beat them down until they know that THIS is how you are supposed to live:

NO ONE SHALL ENDEAVOUR TO DEVIATE FROM THE MEAN.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE:

you will be unsufferably lonely until you find a companion to bear witness to your futile existence.

you will get a job.

any job.

all work is awful.

there is no career satisfaction.

you just have to work.

you will fall in love.

this will be your only relief.

this love will lead you to reproduce.

you will pay your taxes and eat three meals a day.

you will cast your vote and be under the assumption that it has some sort of relevance and that you are therefore responsible for whatever the government decides to do.

you will be so busy working and being a parent that the broader picture as far as your species in its entirety is concerned-will be of no interest to you beyond recycling your tin cans, growing some vegetables and possibly driving a hybrid.

when you can no longer work you will suck on the public tit until you die.

you will not argue unless instructed to by propaganda or a hormonal imbalance.

you will not question unless prompted.

and above all you will not actively search for an alternative to this life.

this life will give you what you want.

what you want is security and comfort.

this life contains all the meaning you will ever need.

living this life gives you licence to persecute anyone who does not also live this life.

for if you do not live this life you are clearly an enemy of the people.

if you do not live this life you are in opposition to everything held dear by everyone else in the entire world.....

and ohhhhhhhhhhhh we will punish you.

we will scorn and reject you, ostracise you and disapprove of everything you do and only when (and if) your spirit sucuumbs to the unyielding torture, when you have become a bitter, cold, damaged, banished outcast, will we use you as an example with which to scare our children into living the same routine of prescribed drudgery.

does this sound fucking familiar to anyone?

ANYONE?

is it just me?

am i really that alone?

it's statistically impossible!

ISN'T IT?!?!?!?!?!

HELLO?

ELLO?

LLO?

LO?

O?

?