dust bunny

bloody hell. the insulation paper is half down... that blue/silver shite... haven't even started the bat installation yet... i almost had a mental breakdown today. there's a reason i haven't started the roof escapade until now... i knew if i started it i'd be trapped doing it for weeks. and lo! i spake the truth. mum ended up leaving her caravan here so i had somewhere to sleep that wasn't knee deep in batshit and dust. everything's covered with sheets and the stuff that isn't.. man.. it's gonna take DAYS to clean that crap off everything.. and that's AFTER the bats are installed.

i go up there this morning to finish off the last bits of shit shovelling and sweeping and vacuuming and there's ACTUAL BATS up there... thing is they kinda throw their little batty voices (fucking sonar!!!) so you can't tell where the frak they're coming from... i'm holding a clip-on lamp and balancing/staggering on dodgy rafters swinging around and around looking upwards, trying to find where the highly annoyed turn-off-the-light-IT-BURRRRRRNS screeching is coming from and i finally found them clawing along some top rafters amongst the cedar shingles with their creepy little hooked wings like they were people dying of thirst, grasping along the desert floor toward water. if said people were really really ugly. and tiny. and nocturnal. so i had to vacuum up a whole new bunch of bat droppings after i had just cleaned it all up... so i left the place BLAZING with clip-on lamps tonight... like to see em feel at home in THAT!

aaaanyway so i've been up in that frakkin roof for what seems like an eternity and all last night i was waking up AGAIN AND AGAIN with a fright cause i kept dreaming i had missed a rafter and fallen through the dodgy ceiling boards.

in startling WTF news... it turns out cats can climb steeply positioned ladders with freakish ease.... then walk all over dodgy, creaking ceiling boards that you yourself would fall through... as they groan under the weight... and rain rotting wood chippage on the furniture below.. (trust me the cat doesn't and won't give a fuck until he is suddenly falling through the air)... cats can also meow incessantly, trapped in your roof cavity, unable to back down a steeply positioned ladder... then when they realise their human will not be playing "fetch the cat from the attic" all week... it is surprisingly capable of launching a kamikaze style frontwards crash-down somersault approach to descending from on high... it goes a little something like this...

MAAAAAAAAAOOOOOW?

MAAAAAAAOOOW!!!!

MAOOWWWWW!?!?!?!?!?!

............

silence...

SCRAPE SCRAPE FRANTIC SCRABBLE THUD BANG BANG BANG WHOP!

FUCKING.

HILARIOUS.

those bats, if they survive, will regret the day they ever called my attic home.

if they can ever get access to it again.. i'm going to wire it up from the inside like a big cage they can't get into... which will take ANOTHER day before the insulation bats go in... looks like this caravan will be home for a while... lucky i'm comfortable with being white trash eh?