the black toe and the maelstrom

this is the first time i have been online in 3 days cause my puter's rooted.. got chem exam on the 30th so won't be doing anything about it til then.. am cramming like a motherfucker.. and last night i was huddled in the hallway wedged between a wall and my fridge, in the dark, as there was a friggin CYCLONE outside.. the power was out for three hours.. the storm lasted for about ten hours, it twisted and ripped my steel greenhouse frame apart like toilet paper.. yet in the eye of the storm, i retrieved the cat unharmed, albeit a little wired.. sheet of steel mesh fell on my car, branches got ripped off my trees, styro containers full of dirt and seedlings got flung into the air and smashed on the ground, my wheelbarrow was glued to the wire fence from the sheer force of the gale at one stage.. and i went round the back today and the wind had picked up a few small logs from the firewood pile and BLEW THEM ACROSS THE YARD. LOGS I TELL YOU. the width of my thigh and nearly as long.. ofcourse all my mulch (not the cheapest stuff ever) got blown into oblivion, but most of my plants survived.. i found them bent over from the blasting they received all night but still with flowers and still alive.. underneath the wreckage of the greenhouse.. it was fucking wild dudes.. trees were horizontal.. chunks of plaster were falling off my wall from up high.. the roof held, don't ask me how.. at one stage when it started to get real bad i tried to go out in it to reinforce the lashings of the g'house to the ground stakes, but i was hit by flying twigs and shit that cut me they moved so fast. it was like they were shot out of a gun.. and not ONE DROP OF FUCKING RAIN!! RIPPED OFF!!! i ventured over to the neighbours this morning to trade war stories and they said in thirty years of living here.. they had NEVER seen it that bad.. on my way into town, i saw tree after tree had been ripped apart.. the SES must have been very busy last night hacking it all up to get it off the road.. some people had lost their rooves.. it wouldn't have surprised me if a sheep had sailed past my window.. unfknblvble! oh and the night before i was studying and i was engrossed in the text book and i saw something out of the corner of my eye and when i looked it was a HUgE hAIRY SPIder about to crawl on my leg. the text book was flung into the air. so was the calculator. i leapt into the corner of the room and was so terrified i thought "what if it crawls toward me? i won't have anywhere to go!" so i leapt up onto the coffee table and thought "what if it climbs up the LEGS?!" so i leapt over the wicker chair into the middle of the room and my little toe caught on it and when i landed i saw it was sticking out of my foot AT A RIGHT ANGLE i shit you not.. i swung between "woah! that's SOOO weird!!! COOL!!!" and "ew ew ew ew ew ew ew hurt pain ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew paranoia of permanent damage ew ew ew ew ew ew" so i manhandled it a bit and it wouldn't stay in it's normal position.. funny thing was.. i could WIGGLE IT INDEPENDANTLY!! like the bits that usually connect it to the movements of the next toe got ripped.. anyway i rang the hospital and asked what i should do and i told the nurse i had done it leaping away from the world's largest domestic arachnid and she pissed herself laughing at me then said : ice pack.. bandage.. elevation.. panadol.. then i said oh man i can't even run away from it if i see it near me again.. so i hunted it down amongst the bits of my livingroom and killed it twice.. double ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.. i prefer the throw the phone book ontop of it from a distance, then scream like a little bitch and run away tactic, it's quite effective. unless you don't like a thick coating of insect intestines covering your phone books.. ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.. so anyway my toe is totally black it's fucken wiggy as!!! and i'm hobbling around for the rest of today trying to repair my poor torn greenhouse.. should be studying.. oh well.. life's fulla should be's.. hooray for plant survival.. i love those little guys.