you can't stop the murders

woah. my cat is like.. death cat.. i was making vietnamese rice paper rolls last night when i heard an EEEEEEEEEEEE screeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE squEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and all this scrabbling and commotion and i went WTFIT?!?!?! walked out into hallway and there's pod with a fucking RABBIT in his jaws... in the livingroom. i shit you not. it was a really cute fluffy kitten rabbit maybe a third grown.. and it was still alive.. every time he put it down, the rabbit would just lie still and bore him.. not like a mouse that runs and leaps and tries to escape at every available oppotunity and is therefore heaps more fun for him to terrorise.. it would just be still until pod walked away then after a minute or two it would recover from fear paralysis and get up, try to run but pod always caught it.. jumped on its back and bit into its neck with his cat fangs and it would screech like a motherfucker. dam cat takes an hour to bat a mouse to death, a rabbit was gonna take all friggin night.. i usually take the mice off him and drown them in the sink to stop the torture.. but man.. this little fucker was so cute.. pod let him run into a corner and he was so terrified he was trying to jump up the walls to get away and screeee EEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEching all the while, so i got a towel and picked it up and held it for a while trying to psych myself up to kill it humanely but whenever i looked at it, its little nose twitched. i could feel its petrified heart thumping through the towel.. it was like the cutest thing ever.. but if i let it go.. it would fucking decimate my garden.. man.. i rang my mum- which is not normal- to get her to reinforce the whole "gotta kill it" perspective. she goes "mara. a rabbit in your garden is not your friend" i'm like DUH! me and my brother and father would go out rabbit shooting at night with a spotlight when i was a wee girl.. when one of us shot a rabbit and it was still alive.. i couldn't leave it to die slowly in agony but my father and brother were fine with it, so it was always up to me to get out of the ute and kill the poor fucker with my bare hands. as i was pretty small and had limited strength i couldn't perfect the karate-chop-to-the-back- of-the-neck-while-holding- it-by-its-back-legs technique preferred by farmers.. seriously i tried that many times but just hurt my hand alot and made it heaps worse for the bunny! same with the old put-the-head-under- your-foot-and-pull-the-back -legs-till-its-neck-goes-pop routine so - i became a basher. i would find a rock. i would pick the injured rabbit up by the back legs, pat it, then swing and swing and swing until i was sure its little furry head was dashed in completely and it could no longer feel anything. but this little guy wasn't hurt. he was just scared. i thought maybe i could drive for ten minutes down the road and set him free.. then i snapped back into the real world, and headed for my axe.. but he started to struggle in the towel.. i held him tighter and he went still again and started to breath in these really deep open mouthed gasps.. i looked at his little body and there was a tiny bit of blood from the fangs but not much visible damage.. but he just up and died in my hands and spared me the trouble of butchering him. he died of fright. i forgot how floppy dead rabbits go. their heads just lol on their necks like they're broken. i held him upside down by the legs and the next thing you know, pod's leaping into the air with his claws out and starts punching into it's head like batta batta ball bag down the gym. i felt sad. but it was just so funny. i'd put it on the floor and he'd bat away at it, trying to get a reaction.. tossing it around on the sacrificial rug pretending it was still alive.. the sick fuck.. i took a couple of photos of him with it but computer is neutered i can't post any photos.. then i took it outside and put it under the oak tree.. i feel like i had a hand in murdering the easter bunny.. oh and i'm going to execute every last one of those seedling chomping, stalk munching mother fucking insect fucks.. my rainbow silverbeet, my basil, my new capsicums and eggplants a few tomatoes, peas and squash, half my broccoli seedlings, some coriander and just about all my beans zucchinni and sunflower seedlings have been munched off right down to the ground. little green stalks are all they leave behind.. just enough poking up out of the ground to let me see something was once there before they FUCKING ATE IT..those little cunts are gonna die.. i got organic pesticides.. i'll poison them with derris dust and pyrethrum spray and i'm going to make chilli spray and burn them and they're all going to pay.. they ate the flowers (the things that make the fruit) of my tomatoes!! they chomp into my strawberries.. oh they're all gonna fucken die.. every last one.. i hate bugs. except ladybirds and worms and daddy long legs. i need an army of frogs.. i think i will build a small pond.. oh and i bought my green house back from the dead.. with alot of gaffa tape and copper pipe from the tip.. anyway this is draggin on but don't they always.. if you've made it this far you either have no life or are a true friend or both. ta ta!