am on mates computer cause i still got no internet at homey homes. we cleaned up her backyard today. i was on whippersnipper duty and got about a million fuckin grass seeds torpedoed through my pants and shoes. they look like the face of demon Doyle from Angel. can't sit down in them. for someone who's seen no action in a while i sure find myself in alot of other people's pants. first caz's second hand jeans, now mel's borrowed trakkies. i looked into the field next door the other day and watched the grass swaying in the breeze and thought fuck wouldn't that be the talk of kooroocheang if i just got in there with a board and some string and made a fuckin crop circle. the inbred retards down the road would totally flip out. actually they'd prolly just be pissed about their rye grass. it would surely get the cows on the defensive. my mum came out for a few days last week and she's a bit obsessed recently about my standard of living so she forked out some cash for paint for me bedroom. i chose hot pink for the walls, bright aqua for the architraves and tomato red for the ceiling which will be so loud it will probably keep me awake but fuck it i'm sick of white. the paint names were "cheeky" "unicorn" and something else that had absolutely nothing to do with color. i renamed them wet labia, deadly bluebottle and arterial spray. i had to get up in the roof to relocate the wiring for a lightswitch (yay me) and i was like what are all these pellets? i waded through them and had to dig through them to push the wire through a hole i made from the underside and they all fell on my bed and then i was like oh now i remember. that's batshit. like an inch thick all over the attic floor. i should throw some seeds up there and see what happens. eeeeeeeeeyyyoooow! pod keeps killing cute fluffy baby bunnies. i caught one with my very own hands the other day. i was like oh my god. this is the very definition of cute. i went to nuzzle it and realised it was fucking COVERED with fleas crawling in and out of it's pelt. usually i would force myself to wring it's little garden savaging neck but mum was there and we both just looked at it. terrified in it's little tea towel. and we did something very uncountry. we jumped in the car and drove it ages away and set it free. in some other bastard's paddock. where there were lots of other rabbits. it prolly got gangbanged. it's outta my hands. anyway i gotta gettlegongle.. and about new years. few of you guys wanted to do it again this year. i can't be fucked doing a variety show but if you all wanna come out here for a dirty weekend feel free. lemme know asap though and do it with mobi text PLEASE! dunno when i'm gonna be online again.. sigh. maybe when some of you mosey on out here on the 29th, we can partake of the ancient native american broadband dance.. cheerio.