that's trippy... taka

born from an egg on a mountain top....

i love that show.

pigsy, tripitaka, sandy, monkey, that weird dude that morphed into a horse. the people who brought that show to life must have been tripping balls. which incidentally was what i was doing last weekend.

born from a session-egg at an apartment near the domain interchange-top..

"potfest 2009" (9-11 oct) unfolded thusly.....

i totally should have invited non pot-heads but the huge and very expensive pot stash wasn't mine to offer and i just wanted to be completely fuckin BAKED for a whole weekend and couldn't picture any non-potheads keeping up with the level of mental devolution without DYING of boredom.. or atleast without ME dying of PARANOIA that they were.

there were eight of us the first night. much food and much grass. Coffee table was COVERED with drugs. like a buffet at some convention for mindbenders. looked like the floor of my first share house.

This guy Niall, who i met through BB, came up and brought an entire backpack full of smoking paraphernalia; early vapourisers and bits of this bong and that bubbler... man.. when it was all unpacked it looked like he had looted some victorian laboratory... he had this flat bottomed connical flask with a siphon that led to a HUGE glass cone and you had to heat the fucker by docking the nozzle of a PAINT STRIPPING GUN (about the size of your average power drill) into the cone... it was hella smooth but felt like i was sucking on a big crazy flower vase while a guy was drilling into the side of it.

this chick Cat, who i haven't seen since high school (and her girlfriend Mandy) rocked up for froidee noit and looked exactly the same as she did 15 years ago which was made all the more surreal by her box of smokeable whatnots.. there was some grass but also heaps of legal herbal smoking mixes.. i tried one called bliss and it felt a bit like i had turned cotton woolly.

had a banquet. watched doco where unfortunate rainforest ant had contracted fatal spores that made a mushroom sprout from it's fuckin head. smoked til we passed out. prolly had disturbing dreams but no memory left to remember them with.. so yay!

next day the two girls took off and those leftover took magic mushrooms on a yonder grassy knoll and giggled and rolled all over the ground for a while before STAGGERING for AGES back to the church which seemed to be mocking us, slinking further and further into the distance, as we lurched towards it at an incredibly minimal, yet highly confused velocity.

MATHS TRIP: modelling the inverse relationship (one value goes up while the other goes down) between 'X' (amount of magic fungus pills consumed) and 'Y' (ability to physically arrive home)...

judging from the sheer inability to co-ordinate an approach to the church demonstrated by those who had only consumed DOUBLE the amount i took, i deduced that it wasn't directly proportional at all so i chose a negative parabolic formula (for a positive only domain from zero to infinity pills but stopped at 500 for logical reasons) there's a graph and everything but i couldn't get it on here.. i'm sure you're spewing about that.

for those of you who are still awake, the equation is; {f: [0, 500] -->R, f(x) = -X^2 + 225}

NOTE:

1. maximum ability to navigate homeward corresponds with lowest shroom value (zero capsules).
2. ability to find front door in a churning fractal universe equates to ZERO at 15 shroom capsules.
3. anymore than 15 capsules results in NEGATIVE ability to locate dwelling, which infers that one who has consumed more than 15 crazy caps would (even when carried home and placed on the doorstep) be unable to recognise the structure or its location and would be just as likely to set about building a nest out of colored strips torn from their own clothing in order to attract cosmic disco birds; as to fumble their way inside by coincidence.
4. when amount of caps (x) is around 50, homing ability (y) slouches toward negative infinity, inferring a return to the source, where the material aspect of our dimension ceases to exist and hence everywhere is home, regardless of co-ordinates. NB; This would only be paradoxical if the traveller ever REACHED negative infinity.. an event whose probability is highly disputed among trippers, but for our purposes here will be considered to have a probability of zero (impossible).
5. past about 50 caps, each extra tiny FRACTION of mushy capsule corresponds to an EPIC decrease in ability, suggesting that at some stage even the tiniest inkling to take any more would be effectively eclipsed by sheer lack of ability to do so and the time taken to manage the task.

Here's an example. Julie takes 19 magic mushroom caplets about five minutes apart, before heading home... she sets out with maximum ability to get there but one of the caps has dissolved and she's now under the influence of one shroom tablet (when x=1, y=224) and hence her ability is now 224.. after 5 minutes she's digesting 2 caps which decreases her ability to 221, when she's digested 8 caps, her ability is 161 and at 13 caps, ability = 56

when she experiences the weirdness of 15 caps... her ability reaches zero.

At 16 caps her ability is now negative 31, and at 19 it's -136... so at this stage Julie is now a pan-dimensional, trans-corporeal entity who prolly has few boundaries left between the beautiful void soup of the universe and what makes her herself.

she could take more than 19 and in so doing fade out her remaining boundaries a little more with each one, but her ability to take more sinks drastically with each pill ingested.. and so the time increments between each successive pill also grows.. eventually there's a saturation point where the earliest pills taken start to wear off as the newer ones kick in; a sort of psychotropic equilibrium... so she'd likely plateau somewhere round "knowledge of time travel"...

Although she could reach a state of all-consuming awe, where her sentience in our plane is doubtful.. mushrooms are temporary, their effect decreases with time, and there is not an infinite supply... so Julie's shroom cap number would eventually have to return to the origin (zero) and her ability to cut a path home; to the starting point, 225, although she'd prolly wonder how the fuck the cosmic disco bird nest got there.

i cannot believe i just wrote all that.

i pity any of you that aren't doing maths and are still fucking reading.

so after overstaying my welcome in mathland, we made it back FINALLY and pretty much rolled all over each other and laughed and cried like crazy, crazy babies. One guy James got 'the burning' where everything around you becomes so enhanced it's a little overwhelming.. everything is beautifully tragic and tragically beautiful.. it's like an overdose of emotion.. up up up up up... JOY!!! down down down down down... WAH!!! up up up up up JOY!!! ....etc.

On one peak he was shouting 'yes! YESSS!!! i win. i WIN MY LIFE!!!!' and i don't think there was a dry eye in the place when his fiance Jo caught him on the way down to boo-hoo-town and he just fell into her.

they get married in under three weeks. on a boat motherfucker! *imagines T-pain on mushrooms*

so when we were all done crying and cackling and being utterly confused we tried to eat the roast i had SOMEHOW managed to cook while FUCKED out of my TREE and it was so, SO gross.... eating while SPASTIC is gross. the roast was nice but i totally had the anti-munchies.. pretty much the same deal with the cake.

i spent a whole day cooking and a lot of food was wasted which is evil when half the world is starving.. thank fuck i LOVE cooking and can feed the chooks with the leftovers or i would DIE of guilt..

i don't think anyone really slept that night, mushies have a habit of spinning your mind even after your body has checked out for the night.. but we all seemed awrite sundee.. smoked HEAPS of grass.. played a pot-growing board game called "hydro-lord" and then it was homeward bound for the visitors while i sank into the couch and tucked into my birthday present from BB = massive bag o' weed/science compendium, with the help of my birthday present from jo and james = brand new bong.

so i guess i'm 34 now. meh. color me indifferent. i'll get excited when i turn 37; i'll be in the PRIME of my life...

sigh.

ok i'm putting the maths humour AWAY now.

but omg so going to lose it when i turn 42....

anyway yes. a great weekend that actually made me forget about exam insanity for many many happy hours.

And as i've already told my fellow trippers;

I have decided to award us the golden fractal for services rendered to experiencing awesome shit.