song of the household implements

ok so leila sent me this program called 'audacity' so i could record some talking for her radio podcast thingy.. (will post link when she airs it) so i crapped on for half an hour or more then got curious..

and i discovered that if i recorded something.. i could convert it to MP3 and play it on windows media player and listen to it through headphones..

then hit record (in audacity) while singing a different part or playing along with an instrument..

then all i had to do was align the tracks so they all started at the same time and bingo.. an orchestra of me!

don't worry i'm not doing a whole fucking album or anything.. i was just exploring.. i've never recorded music before.. especially not instrumental shit.. i've only ever done two things at once (guitar + voice) but with this shit i can fucking do TEN!!!

so there i was.. i pulled out the old crusty bongos and recorded a minute and a half of highly incompetent pounding.. then as i listened to it in the headphones..

i played along on an old windchime that hangs in the hallway, then an old psaltery (medieval harp) that i had to tune with a screwdriver (!!!).. then i filled three bottles with different levels of water that i tuned to the psaltery track.. and i recorded one track for each bottle (note) blowing the notes in different rhythms..

then i sang a bass line.. then a.... uh.. middle bit... then i sang the high part with a few frills in it..

everything was done in one take.

it did not dawn on me til much later that i could have done one bit over and over til i got it perfect heh.. so each individual component is HIGHLY flawed but when they're all played ontop of each other they actually sound kinda cute!

as i said it's my first go at ANYTHING like this EVER so just listen to it as though you're at an impromptu hippy jam session.. where there are no second takes hehe..

the second one is me doing a celtic ballad acapella.. and i sang a high bit and a low bit over the top.. click on the links below to check them out!

the medievalish one

the celtic one

.

car thievery fail

i can't fuckin believe how much less exhausting life is when you don't live in a cluttered shit dump.. and when you are warm.. it's so much easier to get out of bed when you're not blowing smoke rings with your breath in the bedroom.. it's so much easier to get motivated to bathe.. and cook..

yay.

and then.. i get to the train station from school last night and someone had tried to break into my car. many of you know the camira. it is a piece of shit.. let me tell you the story of the shittest car thief that ever was..

one day a completely incompetent fuckhead laid eyes on the crappiest car in ballarat and said to himself.. i think i'll risk jail time to ride in that.

FAIL

he then tried to bust into it by inserting something into the lock of the driver side door.

FAIL

(the driver side door lock has been fucked for years.. i have always had to unlock the passenger side, get in, lean over and unlock the driver side door from the inside) so then he decides to insert something into the passenger side lock. he gets in the driver's seat, trying to start the car by inserting something pissweak into the ignition.

FAIL

he becomes frustrated and tries to force it in with his foot, bending the steering column and indicator lever.. and still..

FAIL

he rifles through the glovebox, and coin tray and finds nothing..

FAIL

he leaves defeated by a 1986 camira with no suspension and one headlight.

FAIL

seriously.

EVEN I KNOW HOW TO BOOST A FUCKING CAMIRA.

anything pre 1990:

YOU WILL NEED..

coathanger

screwdriver (flat head)

rock (bout the size of a grapefruit)

METHOD..

1. insert coathanger hook between window and seal, jostle til caught, pull upward.

2. insert screwdriver into ignition

3. hit with rock

4. drive away

honestly; car thieves of today. it's just sheer incompetence. so now as i drive one elbow is straight and one elbow is bent as the wheel is tilted inward (bent steering column) and i dunno it's gonna come off while i'm doin 100 k/hr or what.

also my knuckles are always hitting the indicator lever as that's bent inwards as well.. almost enough to be stuck in the steering wheel..

and i can no longer push the button down to lock the front passenger side door. so i can no longer lock my car.

also i have to bash the key into the ignition with a hammer and it's stiff as a bitch to turn it to 'start'..

add no shock absorbers, one headlight, a melted pizza disaster going on in the fuse box, no demister, no heater, rotten seals that means there's always a puddle in the passenger side footwell, a failing alternator and the fact that since the attempted fuck-knob-robbery the engine has cut out while i've been driving around corners and i guess i'll have to admit that i'm looking for a replacement car.

the home is now liveable. it's time now to somehow wrangle a functional vehicle out of the world machine. if anyone knows of anybody selling a half decent car at a half decent price please let me know.

i can't be without a car out here.. especially in winter when it's so dark and cold and wet and hitch-hiking with groceries would be impossible. and it's only a matter of time before the old girl runs her last mile.. *is worried*

lapsing into order

hey cunts!

finally my home is a home.

the batdust is all but gone..

no more tripping over tools or wood offcuts..

i'm so happy!

there's just so much space and *gasp* it's fuckin CLEAN!!!!!!

here is the time lapse video.. with bonus audio hehe..

only took me two fuckin weeks.. so glad it's finally over..

so i guess i should start thinking about bonfire dates cause i got heating and welcomliness and i really wanna cook for you all as i have been infected by masterchef..

check out how Pod pops in and out of existence during the clip.. hehe.. enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFxt8LESB9Q

.

home is where the dust is

ok so two full trailer loads of rubbish, three op shop garbage bags, and FIVE empties of the vacuum cleaner later.. i keep thinking i'm nearly there and then i remember i gotta.. like mortar up half a wall or sort through ten boxes of crap before i can carry on.. it's been two weeks.. i'm pretty sure i have the black lung.. but end in sight..

i still got about five or six kitchen cupboards to chug through.. sorting and chucking and re-organising.. then the bathroom needs a good going over.. laundering all dusty fabric things that were on display (costumes, etc) then i gotta vacuum all the cobwebs off the ceiling and wall studs.. then i gotta re-wipe every horizontal surface and clean off the encrusted light fixtures and mop the floor and THEN i can turn on the split system.. after that.. i'm not doing anything but light housework for a fucking YEAR..

and i've done NO HOMEWORK so i'm going into methods blind tomorrow but what can i do.. i missed a class on the holidays for specialist too so she'll be talkin chinese to me thursday night.. i dunno.. i'm supposed to be in bed cos i gotta get up to make the trek in at the crack of why-the-fuck-am-i-awake.. but i've become totally nocturnal over the last two weeks.. goddammit!

i gotta shower yet.. wash a bucket of dust out of my hair.. dry it.. pack.. i have absolutley no motivation.. don't worry i'm not giving up i know i must just be in a bad place to think that.. and it will pass.. guh.. l feel like shitbag failure.

great bins of fire

i will post an invite on twitter too but is anyone interested in a bonfire party? i'm thinking next weekend as i'll still be on holidays i know it's relatively short notice but seeing as it's the middle of winter i'm hoping most of you don't have next weekend figured out already.. the place is totally habitable.. i have heating!!! also my mum's caravan is still here so there are five beds. a single and double in caravan (easily heated by a a bar heater) and inside, double fold out couch..

i've got a lamb roast and pork ribs in the fridge and enough mince to do meatballs and lots of rhubarb for crumble.. so it will be a roasted meat and veggie fest..

plus the fire bin is hanging out to be set ablaze.. it told me.

please leave me a message somewhere if you're interested.. either here or on facebook or hotmail or one of those farkin things...

i just wanna know whether anybody's up for it..

cheeeeeeers doodies.