bed's-a-burning

how can i sleep while my bed is burning?

indeed

today i had the electric blanket cranked up to the highest setting as i was sitting in bed fucking around on the net.. there were five blanket/doonah/coverlet thingies on the bed.. i had most of it scooched up behind me so i was leaning back on the blanky pile..

then there was this awful smell..

i heard tractors and a truck outside in the paddock next door so i thought it must have been some nasty exhaust or engine oil burning or some shit...

i kept buggerising around on the laptop..

then about five minutes later, i smelled it again.. but this time it was way too strong to be from ten metres away.. i got out of bed and turned around and there's the cat sitting on a pile of smoking doonahs, looking at me as if there was nothing wrong..

FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!

i unplugged everything, grabbed the laptop (fuck the cat!) and went downstairs to get some wet towels.. i thought of getting the hose but i was in my socks and i didn't wanna overreact and douse the fucker cause i had to sleep on the thing tonight..

fucked if i know what pile of shit the fire hydrant is under..

note to self; put hydrant in some memorable place..

i got a big steel bowl and put towels in it.. then i went back upstairs and shooed the cat away- and the fucker actually looked resentful... what is it with cats and their heat threshold?! they must be from HELL or something..

so i started peeling layers off expecting the whole thing to flame up as soon as it was exposed to air.. but hooray for fire retardant bedding!

the big glob of doonahs had a black smouldering core like some white dwarf and fuck! the SMELL! the electric blanket was made from wool so i dunno if you guys have ever smelled hair burning but it's of similar grossness..

i ripped off the smoking mess chucked it on the floor and plonked sopping wet towels all over the black bits..

then i found the crap that wasn't burning.. but singed.. and all melted together.. and stinking like hell.. it got through the wool of the lecky blanket, through the sheet, through a thick matress protector and melded to my mattress! one pillow and cover look like some botched bedding teleporter experiment i can't tell which bit is which.. and my doonah cover if fried.. and my sheet.. and protector..

dunno if i'll ever get the stench out of everything else.. guh

but atleast now i can justify getting some nice new bedding..

so.... YAY?!

jesus christ!

like totally

okay i need free red bricks.. sigh.

so i've been looking for them.. they are around but you have to be insanely fast and ready to pick them up immediately, which i'm totally not as i still have one more week of school..

but if any of you clunge brains EVER want, like, ANYTHING free.. that's, you know, legal..

get into FREECYCLE.. there's melbourneozfreecycle and melbourne freecycle and there's a bunch of registration to be chugged through unless you're already insane enough to be into yahoo shite but..

well...

FREEEEE STUUUUUUUFFFFFFFFF!!!!

computer parts, baby things, old furniture, firewood, kitchen appliances, shit that would otherwise go to the tip and become landfill.. so it's actually a rather greeen thing to do..

but, like, i'm only getting into it as i am a colossal povmonger at the moment.. methinks another visit to the salvos is in order.. i'm so sick of canned soup!!!

but atleast i HAVE canned soup..

uhh.. this is ma last week of school for, like, totally, a whole FORTNIGHT!!!!

i will have the church cleaned up and ready after next sunday for anyone that wants a getaway or just a visit.. (next sunday cause my mum's up for the first weekend.. but that still leaves two weekends all you nine to fivers)...

there is a fire bin STUFFED full of combustibles just BEGGING to be encircled by some people with matches and possibly beer (i have coronas!)

i am thinking of organising some kind of colossal foodfest/working bee as i need help installing an attic ladder (it takes two people two hours) and i need some muscley maniness to help me move some heavy things.. and when i started typing this paragraph i'm sure there was a hundred thousand manly things that needed to be done but now i can't think of them and i wondered if any more than what i typed actually ever existed...

meh..

i'm just hanging for holidays..

anyway..

will keep people posted if i get my act together about a working/feeding bee...

pls feel free to just come up and hang out of the city for a few days if you just wanna chill out and not do anything, i'm totally into that hehe.. HOLIDAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSS!!!!!! just lemme know when...

ps. dave could you torrent the aussie movie "look both ways" for me? it's for school.. and next time i'm down i will pass both seasons of the inbetweeners to your server cause everyone needs to see that shit.. fucking CACKTOWN... cheers for that leila and jo!

byeee y'all..