Thursday, January 29, 2009

australius combustion

well fuck me.

you may be tempted to think otherwise.. but no shit i am on fucking fire. i am actually in flames as i am typing this it's 45 degrees.. and it's official.. my cat's thermostat is totally fuckin busted. he is choosing to lounge UPSTAIRS where it is even hotter than down here.. and he's found the only patch of SUN to lie in. HE IS WEARING A FUR COAT FOR FUCK'S SAKE.. what is his deal? a friend of mine reports that cats are actually interdimensional conduits that beam heat elsewhere.. i suggested it was transported to fuel cat spaceships in a dimension where kittehs ruled the galaxy.. which means that my place alone could power a small feline armada.. and that cats could also transform the verbal obscenity of their owners into galactic space craft ammunition.. so again.. my joint = small feline armada... and possibly the entire destruction of a small planet..

Leila finallly dragged me onto a pothead site called the grow report which is awesome and is a yakking place for just about everyone who has ever been on her radio show/ podcast thingy.. i've been on her show a few times but ne'er have i spoken to anyone else from that community so imagine my surprise when i posted a "err hello my name is..." on the new members page and about five people posted back going.. duuuuuuude we TOTALLY know who you are!!! some tripper with a pet rabbit ("fuckball") calling herself ms wink even mentioned she missed this blog!! hello ms wink if you're reading!!! fuck me i thought about two people read this thing hehe.. small world..
that's also really big..
and has heaps of other dimensions..
one of which contains intergalactic feline overlords..
like i said..
oh and me and leila are going to see CHEECH AND CHONG in april.. if you're under 30 just wiki them.. please don't ask me who the fark they are as i will prolly bite your head off as it will make me feel ancient..
oh i start school again feb 3rd so will prolly be mewing for couches to crash on fairly soon.. but this year the harvest is non-existent as the plants have all pretty much burnt to death.
i will have to trade sexual favours instead..
or maybe promising NO sexual favours would be more effective as a bargaining tool..
ew.. sweat just keeps running down my arms and legs and back.. and i'm sitting still!!!
i imagine most of the grow report folks are freezing their tits off right now.. bastards..
renovation has come to a screeching halt.. i can't paint as the heat makes the stuff skin up.. i can't set concrete as it will dry too quickly and crack.. i can't move anything around cause any physical exercise will make me fucking pass out..
wah wah at least i have water. and food and a bed and a stupid cat to pat and my health and all that.. actually HEY.. LIFE is fucking AWESOME right now hehe..
oh and a big fat frenching thankyou to chanter, knight and pickle for getting out here a few weekends ago to help with putting up the new water tank.. it went really well, and soon as i get that fucker filled i will never go without water again.. thank the almighty ass fucking christ..
eh this is prolly the most boring post ever but gimme a bit o time to get back into the swing of things.. i blame net abstinence and the searing hell heat..
sweatily yours
maramonster xox

Friday, January 16, 2009

have dongle. will blog.

I AM DONGLE McDONGLE OF THE CLAN McDONGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am totally back online i've just been on icanhascheezburger for like an hour and a half i downloaded messenger i checked email i bought a chemistry textbook i...i...i...i... INTERNETTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSS!!!! Fucking christ. i DARE you cunts to go two years without internet.. i feel like i just smashed through a glass ceiling!! year twelve here i friggin come omgomgomg WIKIPEDIA!!!!!!!! STAR ALMANACS!!! FUCKING FUCKING FUCKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!