Wednesday, September 20, 2006

hooray for cabaret

went and saw dresden dolls last monday, who were fairly awesome.. and as an added bonus there was a freak show of support acts.. sword swallowers, cheesy burlesque dancers, a very overdramatic puppet show, body painting cyborgs, a very gay fishnet clad MC and the spunkiest accordian player on the planet.. if you EVER get the chance to see JASON WEBLEY.. DO IT.. he will have you singing about ardvarks, twirling around in the crowd to get dizzy if you're not drunk enough.. the guy is a genius. a very very hot sexy genius.. "hey ya" singalong on the accordion.. i shit you not.. the actual support band "the red paintings" were pretty typical goth industro rock, the lead singer did "mad world" with the piano girl from the dolls as an encore, which was really fucking awesome.. the dolls themselves were FAIRLY awesome.. they didn't really blow my mind like hot accordion dude but they were still very watchable and the drumming rocked as did the lyrics.. and it fucken beats me how she can POUND those chords out so hard while singing like a wounded child but that's raw genius for you.. 9 out of 10.. accordion guy.. 13 out of 10

Monday, September 18, 2006

ion age

never thought i'd be able to utter the phrase "polyatomic ion" and have any clues as to what it meant but i do! i want to share the love!... an ion is an atom that has lost or gained electrons and therefore has a positive or negative charge.. atoms aren't allowed to be positive or negative so they have to bond with other atom dudes that are also naughtily charged (other ions) so that their combining actually results in a net charge of zero.. when they hook up to make zero they're called a compound.. when only two are rockin around together (how vanilla sex) they're called a binary ionic compound.. any more than two and it's just called a compound that includes a "group sex" or polyatomic ion.. i have to memorise like a whole table of these fuckers!!! AND THEN i have to remember what the neg or pos charges of each one are.. here's a few so that i may bask in your inevitable pity.. H2PO4 = dihydrogen phosphate.. charge of +1.. cry for me.. to make matters even GROUSER they ofcourse must party down with other things to make the compounds that have zero charge eg Lithium (or "Li".. friend of pi-bolar nutters worldwide).. here's how that looks.. LiH2PO4.. that's lithium dihydrogen phosphate kids.. net charge = squat... aneurism's in mara's head from looking at WAAAAAAAAAY to many freaky combos of capital and lower case letters with footnumbers, headnumbers and positive and negative symbols = one... aneurismed brain's happiness at learning something that doesn't involve "yes sir, yes ma'am" = priceless..

Thursday, September 14, 2006

table of elephants

i'm having a procrastination inflation.. i'm supposed to be doing my first chemistry assignment which is due tomorrow but surprisingly i'm remembering all the stuff i learnt in high school! so when i see the elements i already know them so i reckon i could churn it out in about half an hour.. dude how the hell has HHeLiBeBCNOFNeNaMgAlSiPSClArKCa (first twenty elements of the periodic table) stayed in my brain for FIFTEEN YEARS untouched by the neural ravages of frequent psychotropic drug use and my perceived aversion to science? memory rocks.. i remembered i really liked chemistry in yr10.. unfortunately my high school never taught physics unless you selected it in VCE.. and by VCE time i was the world's largest consumer of narcotics that was still mobile and able to remember the concept of a location on the physical plane, so i was obviously into arts instead of science.. i made some very strange sculptures indeed.. my art teacher overlooked my penchant for halucinogenics in class and i overlooked his penchant for being utterly drunk of his ass every day.. god love him.. he understood.. his nose was fuckin wino purple!! but i digress.. science.. yes back to the science.. maybe after a bowl of soup.

evil seed

man.. today i got up, had a healthy breakfast and got stuck into digging over the area that will soon be my organic vegetable patch.. i would've just used roundup to kill off all the grass like any NORMAL person.. but i'm broke as shit and found that roundup costs HEAPS.. then while researching whether it would be safe to use it in a future vegetable patch, i found out it's a monsanto product.. ahem *wheels out large soap box*... i joined this hippy gardening club a while ago.. they're affiliated with the US "seed savers" so they have all this WILD old world shit like black tomatoes, rainbow colored silverbeet, chocolate capsicums, blood red corn, purple potatoes, tobacco, tea, carob.. no gmo, just real biodiversity that's been handed down from generation to generation and is too fiddly for mass production (hence the obscurity) most of them are called "heirloom vegetables" (some are modern, naturally, cross polinated thingymajigs but still quite above board as far as nature goes).. you have to grow it all from seed but fuck it.. if i make fruit and veg tasier and cuter i will eat them heaps more and that will be most awesome.. and cheap!.. anyhoo in the club newsletter they had this massive article about how the company monsanto had developed a patented technology.. "to create sterile seeds by selectively programming the plants DNA to kill its own embryos" THEN monsanto went and BOUGHT THE WORLD'S LARGEST SEED COMPANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so it goes like this.. farmer buys seed.. farmer grows crop.. crop kills itself so it can't make another crop.. farmer then has to go buy MORE suicide seed from monsanto and is totally enslaved to whatever they want to charge.. CRAZY CRAZY WRONG WRONG, but certainly genius. it's been dubbed 'terminator technology' and is just devoid of fucking logic!!! if we make seeds sterile.. when we run out.. how will we grow our fucking food?! anybody? anybody? answer.. we won't fucking be able to!!! because as complete idiots, we will have fixed our seeds so that NOTHING WILL GROW.. so anyway.. i'm too lazy to be political most of the time but in combination with also being currently poor, i opted to break my back and do it the hard way, and fuck.. it took me four hours to pick axe a 1m x 3m area and sieve out all the roots separate the earth from the clods and turn everything over to a depth of 30cm by the time i have done a whole garden i am going to be either right fit or in intensive care, tomorrow i go with my trusty, rusty, trailer to pick up a load of organic compost then let the ancient seed coddling begin!! mmm chocolate capsicums and concentrically red wand white striped beetroot.. drooooooooool.. PS FUCK MONSANTO!!! until i pave, in which case i will blitz my walkways with my mum's leftover stash that's been sitting in her shed for two years.. unless it's been programmed to render itself useless after six months! morally loose, yes, but do any of you really give a fuck?

Monday, September 11, 2006

beware.. sexual beast emerging

so here i am after another drunken weekend.. i refused a pot bender today though so it cancels out.. i finally got laid!! hooray i'm over the fiance.. i said to myself i'm gonna get laid this weekend, i scrubbed myself down, put on cool clothes and yay bagged a man.. he was physically large which i am glad to say, doesn't make a lick of difference to me these days!! it only matters how a man treats you, not what he looks like.. i was like do this do that and he was like ok! man everything looks sunnier in my world.. a decent shag makes all the difference i tell you.. i've decided to pursue a group scenario next.. i want to work my way through the kama sutra.. and master the art of sex with strangers.. my shame is gone.. my goddess is rising.. heaven help any single willing men in her path for she has no mercy!!! hooray for the female sexual peak! 30's here i come..

Friday, September 08, 2006

the book of satan

i have started mathematics, physics and chemistry. they are all supposedly introductory units.. but with the physics.. i BEG TO FUCKING DIFFER!!! what kind of textbook for beginners takes two pages to say that atoms have electrons, protons and nuetrons (jeez even i fucking already know that) but then over the page, asks you to perform calculations with "dimensional analysis" that involve terms like "constant of proportionality" and words like "interpolation" without even explaining what the FUCK they are- even in a glossary up the back?! man i'm so fucking pissed off. intro my ass. to make matters worse the tutor is a guy that claims all the answers to the assignments are in the study guide and lab manual (that he wrote) and that i don't even really have to read the text book.. WHAT A LOAD OF BOLLOCKS there is so little info in his shitty little paperbacks i'm surprised he could fit the assignment questions between the covers! he says that after this unit, you should be able to explain blah blah (insert list of twenty things..) and there may be a VAGUE explanation of one or two of them at most.. i have been surfing the net all day searching for understandable literature.. (physics for beginners) and all the terms that he claims are explained in his text (which are nowhere else to be found) and i have come to the conclusion that when it comes to physics.. no one knows what the fuck they're talking about.. it's so different from text to text which is pretty funny for a science that prides itself on the objectivity and accuracy it derives from the scientific method.. hilarious.. i want to bukkake (jap. = repeatedly ejaculate) on my textbook then burnt it.. reading it and trying to understand it is utter mental agony.. i want to cause it alot of pain.. but i gotta reign in the retaliation cause i paid $130 for the cunt.. the chem book is awesome though so hopefully i can use alot of the shit from it in the physics unit.. why do universities pick such fucking god awful, verbose, unintelligible, discouraging piles of nonsensical shit as texts for their courses? when there are relevant, clear understandable student friendly ones out there? i really understand now that it's not particularly a subject that entices a student to battle on.. but the teacher.. if i didn't have such a burning drive to learn this fucking subject and conquer that shitbag book, i would have asked for a god dam refund on the course.. FUCK IT!!! man if any of you know physics, expect alot of fucking questions.. and if any of you physics geeks have physics literature that is actually written in a comprehendable manner, please let me know if i can borrow it.. i feel like my brain is being forced to compress a lump of fugly coal into a diamond.. it's too much fucking pressure- (that's Mass divided by Length multiplied by Time squared)(apparently)