i have tests looming. so i sit and watch an entire season of something i like.. followed by an entire season of something i don't really like at all until my eyes go fuzzy and my fridge is empty and i'm surrounded by dirty dishes and i have eyestrain from watching tv for the last 12 hrs straight.
and all the while i'm telling myself "just one more episode and then i'll get to studying"...
i'm not going to make it.
this is not one of those instances where i leave everything til the last minute and still get A plusses. i need to develop study habits that DO NOT SUCK... because for the next seven years, i'm going to need to be trying my best.. not seeing how late i can leave it and get away with it..
god i'm so tired of this shit! it's not like i'm even relaxing when i'm procrastinating! the ENTIRE TIME i'm stressed out and there's a loop in my head going "I need to study why aren't i studying i am so lame for not studying right now jesus i need to study why am i not studying?!?!"
i don't even know how many people read this shit anymore it seems like every clown has left blog town.. but if you are reading this.. please.. i'm asking you for a favour.
i need you to kick my ass.
and i'll prolly hate you temporarily for it but will dig you more in the end.
from now until exams are over (they finish late nov)
if you see me twittering or on facebook, i'm procrastinating. please comment. be harsh. i need some tough love. i never had anyone to do that for me. most likely it's because i grew up with everyone around me convinced that if they tried to tell me what to do i would tear their fuckin faces off...
lack of strong father figure blah blah blah whatever.
i'm not asking you guys to be daddy. i need a fuckin lethal drill sergeant.
i just can't seem to do it alone.
i need to learn discipline.
i'd rather learn it from people i know aren't just trying to program me to kill foreign people in their own country.. people i can trust..
so please.. just keep sending me messages/emails/comments i don't care how it gets to me just i dunno send a fuckin telegram just please send something.. OVER and OVER.. when you're bored just send it to me again.. and again!!!
I HAVE HIT THE FUCKING WALL
just like a marathon runner.
all can do is sit on my stunned ass and watch all my hard work go down the toilet..
so please i really really need your help.
i really need you to just keep repeating yourself over and over..
WHY AREN'T YOU DOING HOMEWORK./THERE'S ONLY WEEKS TO GO./ GET UP./ YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING NOW/ GET THE FUCK OFF FACEBOOK..
please i just want to get through this shit to a successful standard.